Uncovering the Psychological Reasons Why People Treat Us Poorly

The Law of Duality in Life

Where there is light, there is also darkness. Where there is good, there is also bad. This universe operates according to several laws, and one of them is the law of duality. This means that there is no utopia, no place with only good things—one’s completeness is made up of both good and bad. Once we accept this, life becomes easier. How? Simply put, when we calmly accept both the good and the bad things that happen to us, nothing can throw us off balance.

Focus on the Good

The key is to focus on everything that is going well in our lives—the love we give and receive, the things we are capable of doing, and everything we have already achieved—while also acknowledging that the other side of life exists. There will always be hatred, people who hurt us, and those who do bad things to us—whether by accident or intentionally. But these are all part of everyone’s life. The only thing we can influence is how we approach these situations.

Changing Our Approach

So, how do we change our approach? We can start by accepting the fact that this is simply how the universe functions. A good analogy here is that every person you know, including yourself, has both virtues and flaws, because, in a way, we are all a reflection of the universe. 😊 If we believe in the idea of perfection, we might encounter disappointment, fear, sorrow, and even hopelessness. But if we accept that life is about the balance of Ying and Yang, that there is an inhale and exhale, and that good and bad are both present, everything becomes much easier to handle.

Raising Our Awareness

Once we understand this and can react calmly to both the good and the bad in our lives, we raise our awareness and open ourselves up to a more fulfilling and joyful life. But even after we’ve accepted the nature of life, we may still ask, Why are people bad to us?

It Starts Within Us

There are several explanations for this, but I would start by looking inward. The events in our lives do not happen from the outside in—they don’t originate from others and affect us. They begin within us and later manifest as the behaviors and attitudes others have toward us.

For someone to treat us badly, we must first harbor emotions and feelings of self-destructiveness or poor self-regard. In other words, we might not love ourselves enough, appreciate ourselves enough, or feel that we are worthy of good things. We may have an unconscious feeling that we have done something wrong, that we are undeserving of good things, or that we need to be punished for past mistakes.

Acknowledging Unconscious Emotions

Although this may sound radical, these emotions and feelings are often unconscious, and we tend to deny them. Instead, we blame others, saying, They are the ones who are bad, and that’s why they treat me this way. However, this is not the case. We are the ones who first vibrate with those feelings, and only then do we attract such people and behavior toward us.

The Solution: Self-Love

The solution to this is simple (not just in theory, but also in practice—try it, it’s not that hard): Love yourself! Accept yourself just as you are. Forgive yourself for everything you have done that you now think wasn’t adequate. Know that you deserve love, kindness, and everything good life has to offer. Once you do this, you’ll start attracting more of the same into your life.

What About the Law of Duality?

Now, what about the other side of the equation? What about the law of duality?

Reframing Challenges

Every bad situation, behavior, or circumstance should be reframed as a challenge rather than a negative experience. We start seeing it as an opportunity to learn something new, to master a new skill, and to transform ourselves into better and more advanced beings. We begin to see challenges as lessons, not as reasons for sorrow, hatred, or pain.

Why Do People Treat Us Poorly?

Let me just add a bit more to complete my answer to the question, Why are people bad to us?

People’s Inner Struggles

People often treat others poorly because of their own dissatisfaction, sorrow, anger, or pain. Very often, it’s due to a lack of self-confidence. Unconsciously, they may feel the need to bring others down in order to lift themselves up. They might hurt others to relieve their own inner suffering, or belittle others to soothe their own insecurities.

While they may be acting inappropriately, they do so because they don’t know any better. Perhaps one day they’ll understand, and perhaps not.

What We Can Do

What you can do is accept that this is the way it is and use it as an opportunity to realize that you might have some negative emotions towards yourself if you’re experiencing such treatment. You can then use those situations to improve your self-view. Send a little love to those people, and once you transform the aspects of yourself that they have hurt you with, these people will either disappear from your life, or they, too, will undergo their own transformation.

Transforming Through Every Lesson

And so it goes, with each lesson we overcome.